2 a : a popular belief or tradition that has grown up around something or someone; especially : one embodying the ideals and institutions of a society or segment of society
What or who is it in our society, or indeed our world, that has decided and continues to decide what constitutes the moral alignment of any given individual, and more specifically mothers? Who decides who is "bad" and who is "good"? The rational part of my mind (and the least exercised part of late) understands that I alone am responsible for my own choices. The irrational part seeks someone to blame for what I have come to think of as shortcomings, mistakes, or sins. And so it begs the question: Who is responsible for deciding what those shortcomings, mistakes or sins are?
Please don't mistake me. I believe that ideals, institutions and moral standards are of infinite value when they are applied honestly and without prejudice. But who in this world is always honest, and completely without prejudice? Therefore, it stands to reason that we are each ultimately only responsible for who and what we become, not for who and what others become. The difficult part in all of this is dealing with the choices of others, and most particularly the decisions of those we love and who love us.
Rather than assigning blame, perhaps my time would be better spent in pursuit of the answer to the questions: 1. How do I overcome the "unfounded or false notion(s)" that have been applied to motherhood? and 2. How do I avoid feelings of guilt for the choices of those I love, particularly my children?
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